It has been frightening, to let go of the dreaming life. Death was the first visitor - as I dedicated myself to awakened goals, awakened admirations, and the reality of my true visions...
I would rather die, in the face of my passions – than let live the factions controlling my life, my body – all the way to Our Earth
I am stepping out of my imaginal ideas, and learning to face – in totality – the essence of my inner ways… unravelling to draw out the sacral essence – deeply entranced in-person-hood – vital and vial all the same, as each act towards enacting the fulfillment of my life enforces the bleeding of my being into the fertile soil of life – and letting all weeds and flowering plants take root alike, flourishing a garden of all – by my own hand or by some proverbial wind.
I am to leave the dreams of my living world to rest within the sleeping world.
A purpose of place and time – where my feet carry me.
What does it mean to let go of awakened dreaming?
To begin: toil the groundwork of your own reality. Facing what is in your face, on your hands, in your blood, sweat, tears and breathe of your actions. That all actions come from, impact, and can either nurture or desecrate the bodily form of you – the one in direct response of your goals and admirations.
Let lie the imagination of the ‘nightwork visage’, so the living daywork be a functional, actualized story of One’s own making - by living hands. Digging into the rootwork of admirations –
taking on the tasks of time and place for the purpose of time and place
– all through this being that is. Holistically embracing the journey towards the healed and healing self, to the holistic embrace of your healed and healing community.
I cannot help a world of my own making…
I can only help a world of my own walking, my own seeing, my own believing. Touch, taste, and feel to de-liminal-ize this present world. Knowing to step outside and behold the sky in its fullness, the trees in their rootedness, and the long lay of the land that beckons us all to its complex intimacies.
The one object of my attention, I wish not to divulge is: my health. For the quick cut and dry… as of today’s publishing 2.5 years of chronic healing with Ulcerative Pancolitis, avoiding medically recommended total colostomy surgery. I have dreamed long into my daydreams to be free of this condition. As the illness in these past 2 years has mitigated every act, thought, idea, function, vision, connection, creation – for it’s abundancy in my life to its dictated (body) language. Nothing comes through me, which is not entangled by this lifestyle of healing. This is why I do not want to carry it into conversation… it may lead to giving it more power over who I am…
Yet, I keep dreaming and dreaming (On & On) of a life where this confliction does not affect me anymore.
And thankfully. That vision is whispering to me…
As I dictate myself to a higher standard of a ‘life worth living’ – I have to create capacity for this healing affliction in my daily life to life – to work, to play, to abolish, to enact, to create – where there is a capacity for this affliction participating with life… and as I keep moving to the reality of my healing form – in pain and in love – I can sense…
I do what I must, with what I am…
I do what I must, with what I have…
I do what I must, with the life with…
This is all to say, I am here – I am enacted – I am willing to do what is real – ready, willing, and able – within my realm of possibilities… within the moment to moment awakening of desires in fulfillment… no longer daydreaming; taking the visionary wisdom to reality in what channel is available.
Dropping the ‘dreamy lifestyle’ - I say to my body “We are here, and we are doing this. No matter what Us is – the world requires our larger living – and your coming along” … with the capacity to uphold both of our lives – inner and outer.
Lesson: Drop the idealistic, drop the unrealistic – breathe your form / your life as it is – no falsities, no fake futures, no alternatives. Manifest by which you can hold, behold – and be held by… Align with the functional, align by the objects you can name. Align by the instantaneous future at your fingertips.
First step to this awareness: sudden enlightenment… nothing more, nothing less – and it’s a lifetime of work. The mind flexing the subconscious reality and gifting … mending what is next for ‘the way of being’. This is up to you… to listen… “Those soft edged whispers at the edge of awareness”
A remembrance… to be what is calling you.
Otherwise… life will force your own awakening.
Living your Fate, or else Fate will Live You.
Blessed Be
Oh Warned One
I have read your post a few times, contemplating your sharing, and I can really resonate with that place of "breathe your form / your life as it is – no falsities, no fake futures, no alternatives." I feel like I am in that funny place where I have these huge dreams and hopes for humanity at large, the big picture in the long run, like I can't help dreaming it to life inside of me, and yet, on the grounded level of the now moment there is this very notion that you describe of no lies, no pretending, but taking what is there, and doing with it what I must do, because in the end there is no other path, unless I were to live a lie.